Well blog readers

This is my night away...no kids, no crazy ex... hotel that is cheesy but sorta cool.
Txt from my nephew, my Aunt who was hospitalized, didn't make it. My moms only bio sister. Was very close to that side as a child. Haven't seen them since my moms funeral.  I'm down here, very near to where the funeral is going to be......Monday.

Not sure if I can get off of work, definately can't afford a short check. Nor the points they'd accrue. So...I drive and hr there and 3.5 back tomorrow. And then miss the funeral. She will be buried beside my mother.   
Yeah, its part of life. Been through many family members passing away.  But I'm not sure if I can attend. And my night out relaxing, has made me start gathering my supervisors permission for an loa.   Not to mention the long drive alone back Monday and back again.    Ironic timing on my part....  so the story goes over and over...
Well do the best I can...its all I can do.

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So

October is here.....  heading to Omaha tomorrow for a night out. Meeting some folks possibly... may just hang in my hotel and check out the casino. 
Ben Kevin and I have Primus next Saturday!  Should be a blast...

Cook and I are having our halloween party the weekend after that.  Not sure if I'm doin a costume but will be the dj.

There is a special birthday this month of a lil cutie. Wish her the best and her mum.    Then onto november.

  May stop by and say hi to Bethany and her new bf on the drive tomorrow.  Just lookin forward to a long drive... with no set agenda.  Enjoying the peace for awhile.

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Watch "Audioslave - I Am The Highway (Lyrics)" on YouTube

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Watch "Hugo - Bread and Butter" on YouTube

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Watch "Scum of the Earth - Bombshell From Hell" on YouTube

Watch "Rehab - We Live (lyrics)" on YouTube

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Watch "10. My Grain" on YouTube

Watch "13 Angels - Corrosion of Conformity" on YouTube

Reckon, it will be a long time

Pretty obvious, surely to most quite pathetic. Gettin there definately. Don't see this as me being as weak as surely most do. For those who know me, guess it reflects how....  special this was.  Call me emo, the facts show I'm nothing special, yet met someone who was to me.    Thought at first when it happened of turning my pin up to a zombie. But it isn't possible for me to do.  Its where I wanted it and her. Beside me and I beside her. Through the thick n thin til the end.   So that is where it will stay. I have a lot of pride wearing it still, showing it off, remembering still, makes me smile....   that has to be enough... it is all there will ever be.
I say too much about how I feel, I always have. It doesn't shame me to admit it. Nor makes me less the man. 
Makes me vulnerable and human. We all have flaws and I know mine are many. But, my heart has never been one. Just the damage done along the road. Jades me, corrupts me, belies what is really there looking for a home.
So folks, say what you will. I'm just some guy. But when I care, and when I say I Love someOne.  Those words are as permanent as the heart is that gives it life.

And that heart too, has now, got issues...anyone see the irony here?  Lmmfao.... no boohoo bullshit.. no depressed crap.. just how it is.

  So enjoy the openess or shred it.  I am who I am..

Adele

What an amazing talent.   Her voice chokes me the fuck up.
Her eyes remind me.... of the past

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Watch "Down - Where I'm Going" on YouTube

Away away......

Finally a night away from the house, lil ones, and o.t.    so need this!
Lookin forward to the long drive, check in and a nice swim.  Stopping in Hamburg for a bit. But spending the majority of my night in my room, in the jacuzzi, drinkin some crystal head vodka and just enjoying the silence.   Never been there before and the river downtown is lookin like a good place for photos.
The Lewis n Clark point near the airport will be nice as well.  Watch the planes come n go...it will make me jones to fly lol.
Hopefully the week goes fast.

Well

Losing weight is for my health on a few levels. Dr thinks I have degenerative valve syndrome or some shit.  Never went back in to run the tests.  So lowering my bp and living healthier is an obvious no brainer. A serving of alcohol a day. Much more water and the issues of a few months ago haven't reoccured.

Iowa fark

New job, foam injecting panels. Heated presses, dropped weight like fuckin crazy. Now the chill in the air I gained it back lol.  Yeah had a two pack even...well next summer I will br shootin for 6 and hittin the bench this winter ... why not eh... got so much else to do...lmfao!  

Watch "Audioslave - I Am The Highway (Lyrics)" on YouTube

Dating

Dating someone you have no emotional attachment to is actually very good!