May it bring Great things, and greta things to those I love, friends, family.
HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone around the world....
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Here, is to the New Year
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
It is Christmas eve in Australia
Wishing a Merry Christmas to Kate and Sav..
Wishing you all the Best in 2012.....
Much Love and Respect
LoL
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
The drivel
As most may see it is becoming less for the sharing... aches still there but pffft... tough titties and shit...still miss my best friend who I actually fucking Love. But that's how shit rolls.. when shit turns negative or when its pointless I guess, its time to let it go. I got it don't get me wrong... doesn't mean I still don't have Much Love for them Both. How it is..how it stays.
I am the one who has always gone the extra measure. I never did have to prove myself. I never was fake ...I was myself. And other than the distance I know it would have been something few understand... but anyway..
Goin on rarely... after a three month shut down last yr.. took too much out of me. I don't want to ever feel like that for anyone again. Unless they are in my arms. And even then..I fear that was only meant for One person... I was not in control of it.. it had me held me and spun me every which way..
Too long of a shot for dead beats like me... never won the prize, always worked hard for eveything I have. And still was happy I had atleast some time... to wake up early and watch her sleep.. it brought me peace like I cannot explain.. just her.. being near me... calmed my soul..
Always with Respect
Micheal
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The looking back....2.0
Over my shoulder, to see tears in those Beautiful eyes as I passed through the gate. I really wish wasn't the last time I would see her. I actually believed it was a beginning. Knowing that now. I would have spent those two weeks a lot differently.
Yes, I still think of it. I always will hold those memories as some of my most cherished.
So yet another epic fail... but I feel a bit ashamed and better lettin that out. Sorry Beautiful... I think she had me from the first time I saw her on cam. Never have I smiled like that. Happy Holidays and Best Wishes
The yank fuckwit
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
A friend
Who has lived over seas for many yrs sort of nailed what's wrong with American women in general. Narcisistic, narrow minded, and cannot usually think past themselves and their little worlds. Hard to find inspiration and attraction surrounded by dolts.
I can find a fwb, I can find a few.. I don't want love again. I want equal in spirit, equal in many levels. That would be a rarity here, for me. Yank women in general are just not anything they assume they are... and like a fool..I keep trying to find intelligence and depth and fall short each time...
Keepin my walls up, no one gets close anymore. Its simply not worth the ache.
Monday, November 28, 2011
For the first time
I am beginning to feel my age. Years of working with my hands I love and now I am paying for. Vertabrae is fucked. But once its set no big deal. Finger keeps rebreaking...who uses a pinky finger anyway..pfft..
And the main tell tale is trying to date. I have zero tolerance for twenty somethings. And being just simply polite turns women around here into stage five clingers... I don't want ass.. ass is easy which makes it sleazy and lowly.
Nobody I have yet met can hold a decent convo for long. And I'm tired of stating dating. If I'm nice they seem to get too clingy and won't back the fuck off... fuck..
Over it.... give up, only to try again...and again realize its not worth the fuckin hassle.
Oh well, that's how it goes.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Happy birfday to me....pffft
Love You the same today as I will tomorrow, and the same as I Always have. Much Respect Always
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
At work yeah
It becomes more n more evident its easy and cheap to live here.. safe for kids for the most part. But here is not where I belong.
At work yeah
It becomes more n more evident its easy and cheap to live here.. safe for kids for the most part. But here is not where I belong.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
So it seems
Have been checking things here. Posting less than I had recently. Seems this is read by people in Russia a lot. Why lol... yanks suck ask around.
Holidays are quickly approaching. Going to get my niece Ashley.. I gave Kaitlyn her middle name Ashley from her long lost niece.
Work has redone the vacation. So I lost it until next december.. but pfft that's how that dump works.
Have some interesting things coming up. But nothin worth posting.
Well, happy turkey day folks.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Not sure why
I even post here.... guess I kind of know why. And I have said more than I ever should... as I always seem to do. Pfft
Monday, November 14, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Tired of feeling this ache still...
But this is just simply my Truth... take care
Watch "Love Song - Adele" on YouTube
With Respect Always
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Memories.....
Still miss so much. But its cool. Remember how the slow hello would just drive me batty. 8)
Those memories are still some of the simplest yet still make me smile. Wishing her all the Best. As I Always will. Always The Beautiful One. Ya still make me smile. Thankful for that and for so much more.
Wow
Once again, I am speechless. Well, ok I am never really totally speechless. Lmmfao. Anyways, savings work again as o.t. has been schedualled. Child support better be starting soon. And considering taking scuba classes in the spring with Kaitlyn. Want to do snorkeling first and buy the gear. Something I'm looking forward to with my oldest.
Andi is going to college next fall. Kirkwood. Proud of her. She too may got to Belize for a college course so checking it out now sort of seems right.
Finally getting some intelligent peers again. Eclectic. Funny. Charming. And I guess cute never hurts either. Backed out of dates left n right. Over the midwest type. Always have been tbh. Oh well holidays are coming, as is my birthday. One day older one day closer to death. Ha ha ha
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Aint blue
Not depressed... but not a day passes, I don't miss my best friend. My One. I wasn't hers but, she was My One. Love Her and wish Her the Very Best. She touched my heart like no one ever has. Made me laugh, made me cry, made my days much more Amazing with her in my life. For that, and for all we had, I am Thankful. Maybe the next time around eh.. Atleast I had the chance, the time, even though brief, to walk beside her for a bit. Never Felt this way, this deep about anyone. Fool I guess, but she deserves someone that makes her light up like she did me. With Much Love And Much Respect, Micheal James Christy
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
May be going to Belize
Possibly taking Kaitlyn in 2013. Friends takin her kids, and wants a travel buddy and an adult to talk to along the way. It would be amazing to take Kaitlyn. But I still am heading back to Oz and then if possible to Bali. Oz will eventually become a regular place for me to go over the coming yrs. And still hopefully a destination to live. But won't cross my fingers.
I know now my friends are a more evolved group than ever before. More my nature. And less typical Iowans. She has her man and it won't be anything like that. Which tbh is pretty damn perfect for me.
Monday, October 24, 2011
When it comes to it
I am more often than not, the odd man out. Here is a slow suicide, always known it. No culture, no depth in people. And as this winter slowly sets in. I loathe it even more. Plans with no direction yet. But in time that will change. Again contemplating college classes. Andi is soon off to kirkwood college which is a lot of the reason I am in no rush atm. Kids first.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Sometimes
I wonder, is it chivalry that prevents me from hook ups. My libido definately has issue with it. But why? Why do I have to at the least have interest on an intellectual level? Doesn't have to be feelings really but, I guess I am hardwired for atleast a basic chemistry connection. Otherwise its just masturbation with someone elses body.
Never understood why I am this way. I guess being the man I am, doesn't lend myself to easy ass and one nighters with random women. At times I wish it was easy for me to just go and do. But I am actually thankful I am not wired to stick my dick in any woman who wants me to. That is... just not me, and it feels tbh, beneath me and who I am personally. Sure flirting and so on. But hookin up just because tits are in my face? No, don't get me wrong, I enjoy the intention of the attention. Flattering, but have zero drive to .... put a notch on any belt. It isn't ..... me.
22?
Sexy cop outfit cute, butt, not bad..... 22. No deal sorry chicadee... ya must have brains not just tits n ass... weak halloween party but it was funny whippin there ass in beer pong.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
May be removing this blog
Time to shut the fuck up I reckon. Not sure who all reads this nor why. So ... we will see I guess
So I shall use reverse psychology
The rule of thumb. Love finds you when you least expect it right. So this being somewhat of a truth, my reckonin is if I look for it. It shall never happen again...lmmfao. see where this is going? I shall look... and continue to....lmao...this way, I won't ever find squat...bwa ha ha... yes let the evil plan commence.....nope not bored one bit....lmmfao....
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Happy Birthday Sav!
Savannah, your a Cute and Precious Little Sweety. Your Mums Angel. Just wishing A Very Happy Birthday to a little friend.
Miss Ya and those Big Squeezy Hugs.
This won't be passed forward, and maybe shouldn't be.
But Still wishin the Little Cutie a Very Joyous Birthday!
Primus
Played for nearly 4 hrs. Just them, no opeing band. It was a great show. Ben got a set list and Kev ruled the pit. I played body guard for Kevin for a female friend of his for an hr and called it good and got in as well. What a night...
Friday, October 14, 2011
It is official
Iowa is a slow death..... suicide bt blandness.. meth heads, whores, b.t, and fake fucks. So ready for this!
Lmfao
Argh with a hint of grr... and toss in a ya gotta be fuckin kiddin. Anyway, no date for the halloween party! Woohoo... yes I am glad about that. Midwest women just, sorry tshirt and jeans 24 7 don't fuckin cut it... skanks and methheads....or the dreaded 20 somethings with no iq..... lmao. And tattoo drooling slags around here can go blow goats. Get over it sluts.
The any cock will do type just makes me laugh my ass off.... work harder ladies, serve me cheaper drinks...ain't fuckin happenin. Although Lindsey seems like a sweety. Not like Michelle nor the other one in dirty dodge. What the hell is with the bartenders anyways?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
20 somethings
Realizing I cannot handle it.... casual ina bar sure at times. But in general, the bs and the small minds and lack of depth make it quite comical and more often frustrating trying to even have a conversation with em. Probably another reason Bethany wasn't very interesting. Gettin fucked up all the time is not my life.. few drinks or whatever but just partyin all the time is just, yeah, grow the fuck up.
So iowa stagnates still. Been told I am more suited to a none american gal by someone who's spent yrs overseas.. well yeah I tend to agree.. American women like all yanks think the world revovles around us.. me at times included. But I loathe it. And no long distance stuff for me again..its just a safe way to shut people off I fear. If I can't hold their hand nor see them in person then its just not worth it. Facepalms... oh well lmao
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Yeah
Not so sure the mystery aussi txter is who I thought. Don't trust people much these days. Either way, if it is, I'd be suprised
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Council Bluffs casino....
On the river boat.... $20, ten on slots and ten on beers... saw the sights thanks to my new phone finding shit to do in the area. Spent the night sippin beers, in my jacuzzi, relieving back pain lol... jets helped. Watch planes land up on the look out. Was nice, being alone, but tbh, too quiet. Not used to that much silence.
Saw the black angel in an old cemetary..had to check it out.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Well blog readers
This is my night away...no kids, no crazy ex... hotel that is cheesy but sorta cool.
Txt from my nephew, my Aunt who was hospitalized, didn't make it. My moms only bio sister. Was very close to that side as a child. Haven't seen them since my moms funeral. I'm down here, very near to where the funeral is going to be......Monday.
Not sure if I can get off of work, definately can't afford a short check. Nor the points they'd accrue. So...I drive and hr there and 3.5 back tomorrow. And then miss the funeral. She will be buried beside my mother.
Yeah, its part of life. Been through many family members passing away. But I'm not sure if I can attend. And my night out relaxing, has made me start gathering my supervisors permission for an loa. Not to mention the long drive alone back Monday and back again. Ironic timing on my part.... so the story goes over and over...
Well do the best I can...its all I can do.
Friday, October 7, 2011
So
October is here..... heading to Omaha tomorrow for a night out. Meeting some folks possibly... may just hang in my hotel and check out the casino.
Ben Kevin and I have Primus next Saturday! Should be a blast...
Cook and I are having our halloween party the weekend after that. Not sure if I'm doin a costume but will be the dj.
There is a special birthday this month of a lil cutie. Wish her the best and her mum. Then onto november.
May stop by and say hi to Bethany and her new bf on the drive tomorrow. Just lookin forward to a long drive... with no set agenda. Enjoying the peace for awhile.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Reckon, it will be a long time
Pretty obvious, surely to most quite pathetic. Gettin there definately. Don't see this as me being as weak as surely most do. For those who know me, guess it reflects how.... special this was. Call me emo, the facts show I'm nothing special, yet met someone who was to me. Thought at first when it happened of turning my pin up to a zombie. But it isn't possible for me to do. Its where I wanted it and her. Beside me and I beside her. Through the thick n thin til the end. So that is where it will stay. I have a lot of pride wearing it still, showing it off, remembering still, makes me smile.... that has to be enough... it is all there will ever be.
I say too much about how I feel, I always have. It doesn't shame me to admit it. Nor makes me less the man.
Makes me vulnerable and human. We all have flaws and I know mine are many. But, my heart has never been one. Just the damage done along the road. Jades me, corrupts me, belies what is really there looking for a home.
So folks, say what you will. I'm just some guy. But when I care, and when I say I Love someOne. Those words are as permanent as the heart is that gives it life.
And that heart too, has now, got issues...anyone see the irony here? Lmmfao.... no boohoo bullshit.. no depressed crap.. just how it is.
So enjoy the openess or shred it. I am who I am..
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Away away......
Finally a night away from the house, lil ones, and o.t. so need this!
Lookin forward to the long drive, check in and a nice swim. Stopping in Hamburg for a bit. But spending the majority of my night in my room, in the jacuzzi, drinkin some crystal head vodka and just enjoying the silence. Never been there before and the river downtown is lookin like a good place for photos.
The Lewis n Clark point near the airport will be nice as well. Watch the planes come n go...it will make me jones to fly lol.
Hopefully the week goes fast.
Well
Losing weight is for my health on a few levels. Dr thinks I have degenerative valve syndrome or some shit. Never went back in to run the tests. So lowering my bp and living healthier is an obvious no brainer. A serving of alcohol a day. Much more water and the issues of a few months ago haven't reoccured.
Iowa fark
New job, foam injecting panels. Heated presses, dropped weight like fuckin crazy. Now the chill in the air I gained it back lol. Yeah had a two pack even...well next summer I will br shootin for 6 and hittin the bench this winter ... why not eh... got so much else to do...lmfao!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Part duex.oh
well anyway, if folks read this. Waiting to see me speak of some beauty or how I am falling for someone. You can stop reading for that headline. Nobody is gettin inside me. Over thinkin there is something deep out there for me. Over the magic. I know it is there though. I felt it. But its not a goal. So don't expect to read about the next big love of my life. One is enough.. check please... argh...... o_0
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
So, anyways
For my yank friends, the Zombie pub crawl, charity walk and prom are at Valair ballroom. May get a group to rally this event. Email me if interested
She sings the words, perfectly.
Watch "Adele - Someone Like You Lyrics On Screen" on YouTube
Always with Respect and Love
Micheal James Christy
For those who for some reason read this
Understand, because I do state I still care have deep love for someone, does not mean I want to go down this road again.
If I share myself then judge me. If I am not ashamed to admit things, then judge me. But don't assume. And for the jesters gallery or the fickle skank who oh so tried to help... like is always the case, enjoy. It had fuck all to do with anyone but Kate and I, nobody else.
And I'm not obligated to still feel this way, but I do Love them both. Always will, same today as it was all along.
And for that troll in jefferson. People warned me. Some of your family even did you meddling sociopathic hunchback. I realize now, its the same bullshit as back in the day. But nobody has the guts to tell you straight.
So that all being said, if I ever did make it that way. I would stay away. For I know its past done with. But I do Still Love Them So Much... and Miss them Like no one can understand.
Thank You Beautiful, My Goddess. For being in my life for as long as you were. You will Always have my Love. Hope the Very Best for Her and Always have. She was my best friend too.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Ahhh gettin back to my jerk self
Walls up higher daily, still have moments of softness and open heart. But back to ngaf in general. This dating thing is going to get interesting!
Bethany after half a dozen dates doesn't have me figured and I so enjoy it. Ditched her at blink 182 lmao... then at Down it was tryin to beat her off with a stick. Shot her down time and again. And women so loathe it I've noticed. Not used to guys Not tryin to hook up. Its almost more entertaining than rootin some skank.
But alas. I grow bored with it too. Nothing peeks my interest nor has for a long time. And I am happy about that tbh. The best bits of me, are reserved for very very few. The rest can fuck themselves. lol.
So again IOWA SUCKS DOGS BALLS!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Dating on pause
This yrs end should set me up for my unknown long term goal. My 3 yr plan being lost. Now almost a yr into my 5 yr plan. But no set directions yet. Fix house up, child support filed for, get two reliable vehicles maybe a bike. Travel some to find where I want to go.
Should have 24,000 to 27,000 in stock to roll over into a roth ira to have easier access. Won't make plans in stone until I hit 40,000 or more and have a destination well set.
Primus is coming up, and another date. Nobody yet to go to the zombie prom and zombie pub crawl with.
Few things on the horizon, but loads of o.t. to get more money and stock built up faster. Weeeeee.....
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Good morning world
Miss my muse, MY Love. But I am obviously a fucking moron. Miss her voice so much. Her eyes and her most of all, kissing her.
Even with these attempts to date, it is so far from where my heart is. I admit, I do need this, this walled up less aching self. But underneath the surface lay still, so strongly what no one else can have from me. That's simply my Love.
I'm trying, I really am. It is getting easier, yet at the same time, reminds me of what its like to be with someone you truly care about.
Maybe, my biggest flaw of so many, is I don't know how to not love her. I can be mad, hurt, angry, rejected and everything else. But she lit up my life. In just being a part of it. Always will Kate be the One Love. Not because of closure or any bs. Maybe, because she touched parts of me without trying to. Ones no one saw entirely. Hope she is well and doing great, she is strong, she will Always be. Always want the best for Her and Sav. Best I stay away forever, I cannot even attempt friendship, with someone I will always Love.
Stood by as a friend when she dated, hoped the best for her even though I was so envious and wished it was me.
Fool, yes I am, hurt, sure. Understand, yes I do. But will Always reserve the best of my heart and love for those two ladies. Kate and Sav.
So I shall continue to go through the motions, I need the smiles and fun.
Please take care if this is read. Always Love You, I can't change that fact. LoL, Always Micheal James Christy
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Down... tonight!
Fuck YES! Bethany, Down, beers and fun....so fuckin needed.
Well update, gunna ditch her at this show too! Yes I'm such a classy date. Lmao, convo for the ride atleast.... bwa ha ha...few get my respect these days. New huh....ha ha...... argh
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
My long lost niece
The one Kaitlyn got her middle name from. And her son Wyatt. Proud of that young lady, Kaitlyn adores her cousin Ashely.
Long talks about my brother. Time holding my great nephew. And then the blues set in a little. Wish he wouldn't have done what he did.
Yesterday was a day for remembrance for everyone being 911.... it did seem a fitting day to meet her finally. Bro, you would be proud of Ashley. And Wyatts a doll. Miss ya
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Something I need to say
Surely enough time has past, but not for me. The gifts I spent hours seeking out, are surely in some landfill in Oz. But know this, I will always cherish every minute and thing we had. Do I have to? No. Why do I? Because I am not able to flip the switch so simply. Respectfully I lost a lot more than some long shot future far away with some Beautiful and Proud woman. Lost my best friend who I also was madly in love with. Wish I could seperate those two feelings, for I do miss her and Sav a lot. But I cannot. Another of my many faults I realize.
Always will wish her the Very Best.
She wasn't in my life to set me free. We both deserve so much more and something real. And for awhile, as far apart as it was in distance. We had that. Someone who loved us for who we are, flaws and all. And I shall always see in her, that deep Beauty and hidden jaded Heart.
With all the Respect I can give, You will Always have one man who sees past all those walls, past the anger and hidden hurt. Proud of her for who she is.
Flaws, we all have, but hers never were severe enough to make my heart flounder.
Always gunna have a missing bit of myself. Lost my best friend and a woman I Truly Loved Entirely. Flawed as I am, flawed as my ego and perosnality can be, my Love was never flawed. Not for Kate. It was the purest thing in my jerry springer life.
Wish Her and Sav the very Best. Mean that wiht every bit of who I am.
Micheal James Christy
Ps, rip away, call me a cunt or some emo fag. Its totally ok and sad to say expected as well. But it doesn't effect it nor me. Those who judge are some of the ones who once came to me for advice. So make the judgements epic. You say more of self than of me by doing so.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Honestly
I am giving up on dating. Once people realize I'm a nice guy they get clingy. I'm not lookin for ass nor a relationship. And have stated it plenty.
I don't want a relationship. I don't have it in me to care that much. Friends of the female kind to go out with and laugh and be social is all I want. And being nice is biting me in the ass. So walls have to go up higher and less shown to people if I do go out.
Don't need fwb's, sex isn't important unless it's with someone I care about. And tbh, I just don't care, nor have it in me to give two shits about someone.
Jaded I always got, now, I see I have to keep myself jaded.
Stage 5 clingers, I've had enough of it!
Never thought with my dick, and I refuse to be that way. If ass is easy it is sleazy. And I don't care for a relationship either so other than flirting for light hearted fun, I simply am over this fucking shit.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Needs a vaca
Labor day weekend.... tired of doin nothin but workin. But yeah kids first... facepalms.....fuckin hell...
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
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