Good morning world

Miss my muse, MY Love.  But I am obviously a fucking moron. Miss her voice so much.  Her eyes and her most of all, kissing her. 
Even with these attempts to date, it is so far from where my heart is. I admit, I do need this, this walled up less aching self. But underneath the surface lay still, so strongly what no one else can have from me. That's simply my Love. 
I'm trying, I really am. It is getting easier, yet at the same time, reminds me of what its like to be with someone you truly care about. 
Maybe, my biggest flaw of so many, is I don't know how to not love her. I can be mad, hurt, angry, rejected and everything else. But she lit up my life.  In just being a part of it.   Always will Kate be the One Love.  Not because of closure or any bs.  Maybe, because she touched parts of me without trying to. Ones no one saw entirely.     Hope she is well and doing great, she is strong, she will Always be.   Always want the best for Her and Sav.  Best I stay away forever, I cannot even attempt friendship, with someone I will always Love.
Stood by as a friend when she dated, hoped the best for her even though I was so envious and wished it was me. 
Fool, yes I am, hurt, sure. Understand, yes I do.   But will Always reserve the best of my heart and love for those two ladies. Kate and Sav.  

So I shall continue to go through the motions, I need the smiles and fun. 

Please take care if this is read. Always Love You, I can't change that fact.       LoL, Always Micheal James Christy