Only the 75th time

I said pack your shit and leave.
Kids were upset, I am the devil. But this isn't healthy for them and they don't understand that. Either way, I am going to be hated. I am ok as long as someday they understand why. And without showing them a better life, that day may not ever come.
  But there has been nothing there for yrs now. I live my life half assed because of this. And things will change one way or another. And I'm ready to decimate this twat if need be.